HELIAS DOULIS

Few weeks ago Helias Doulis series ‘A Faggot’s Destiny’ was premiered here on Pineapple, and now he is back for an interview. Pine over outtakes of 4 series by him, what’s more a short film also included, created by Helias. Cover picture: Blossom of Solitude.

Could we start with some background information about you? Where did you grow up, where are you based, how did you get interested in the arts?

I’ve grown up in Athens, Greece, always thinking I’ll leave one day to make it bigger, or just free. Which I guess everyone’s after really. Left home when I was 19, studied Writing and Film in the UK and worked as a freelance photographer and filmmaker ever since. I’ve been writing poems since I was a teenager. I kept on writing for years and then thought I needed to somehow visualize what my mind was after. I’ve been borrowing a friend’s camera when I was in university, chasing abandoned buildings all over the city every morning.

I’ve been obsessed with naked buildings till I got obsessed with naked bodies.

Ode to Prince

Do you remember the first pictures you took? How much do you think the quality of the camera matters in photography?

I never published the first pictures I shot. It was a project I was working on while in university, for about a year. ‘Seasonal Affairs’, or the men I was fooling around with in bed, is still non-edited and I’m not sure if it will ever make it to see the lights of exposure. It was all about a love breakdown I had, lensing the different sides of the city and its ruins among strangers and me, sharing a bed as the seasons change. I never knew what sort of cameras I was playing around with, and neither had an interest towards being appropriate or technical. I’ve only wanted to capture what my eyes could see, but my soul might forget.

What is the most important thing you have learned about yourself as an artist since you started?

It doesn’t take a day to get you where you wanted to be. That would have probably been what I’d advice a younger version of me back then. It takes patience, time, effort, practice and lots of love for what you’re doing.

Whatever that might be, love it as a child, no matter if your family, friends or audience will approve or not. They might not, and that’s also a gift.

It’s taught me I should not stop looking where I want to be, no matter if I’d lose each and everyone of them for the sake of being true to my vision.

Is there any message that you hope achieving through your images?

I remember when I started having my work published by magazines in Europe; there have been people who thought I was not okay with being gay since I was not showing my models’ faces or genitals. They thought I was shy and I still remember that very vividly. I was surprised to hear gay men wanted to see others being vulnerable or at risk.

They could not take any less than what Tumblr had to offer, which was penises. Nothing wrong with them, I love them too. But was there a particular reason for showing them? Was it the first time they were seeing one? No. The openness and the true identity of what your work is dedicated to, will always have its own, unique way of conquering.

You often tell stories through your images. What is your personal coming out story?

I remember visiting my parents’ home in Athens a few years back for lunch. My dad had cooked, which was a first. Didn’t really clock his behavior, but he seemed quite pleasant. Later on, he was on the phone and my mom came into my room saying ‘Your father knows everything.’ I instantly froze, thinking where my jacket and shoes would be so I can leave. I was doing my shoelaces when she called him to come and see us, she mentioned I was shy. It was that very moment I felt like every single move I was making, was all robotic. He said ‘I wish I knew earlier to love you more’. I said nothing; he drove me to the tube station. I was holding the door handle the whole time, thinking he might be faking it all and hurt me. He was never violent, but that strange feeling of survival was all over me. I didn’t cry for days, I was only thinking it was awkward not having to hide who I really was anymore. We are happy now, still working our relationship out.

What inspires you? Do you also find inspiration in your daily life too?

If you’d ask me that question a year ago, I’d say the lovers I’ve lost. I am now thankful for the love I experience when I get back home and I know he’s there. It’s been a rollercoaster of a year but I’ve been lucky enough and mature to handle my own and someone else’s happiness when being together. Which is very inspiring since I’ve had to see what it’s like to be fulfilled and still productive, without having to be a wreck in order to write or shoot. From flowers and back to sea waves, I am very nostalgic about these worlds you can make into your own small hands when it’s all apart but still, together.

Your latest series on Pineapple was a voyeur’s story. Are you a voyeur? Click here to see the full story

It has taken time for me to accept such a title. I think I might have grown up as a voyeur; I remember having a membership at the DVD club of our neighborhood, casually finding excuses to pass by the XXX area so I get see the covers of the porn film behind the blinds. I would take walks in downtown London and Athens later on as an adult, starring at them the way a child would look at candy. I visited the porn cabins of Pigalle in France a few years back and fell in love with how rusty, horny and filthy it felt, all covered in some strange melancholy. I have a soft sport for such places; I am not the kind of man who loves participating. I might just be the pervert standing in the corner, enjoying himself in distance.

How has Covid-19 affected your plans for this year? What advise would you give to yourself half a year ago?

If I only knew what this year was all about, I would have just smiled to myself looking in a mirror. It’s been a year full of travels and love. Can’t remember if I had plans, but I felt like someone did for me. I’ve had the time to finalize a short film and shoot for magazines I’ve admired, so I can finally tick some publishing boxes I’ve had in mind. I always love paying homage to artists who have inspired me, since their legacy has offered me the strength to be open with my sexuality and vision. Bob Mizer, Kris of Chicago, Karlheinz Weinberger & Bruce of LA is among others, artists who I think of when shooting new material.

Such artists risked their own lives to produce work and I’ll make sure they’re remembered.

You have another Instagram account too, where you collect classic male pictures. Used to be all the better?

Pale Blue Nostalgia is my future dream to come true. It’s homage to queer artists of all backgrounds, mostly from the vintage range and perspective, where it all felt proud and daring. I’ve been collecting vintage homoerotic photography on a daily basis in order to build up a digital collection where people can have a glimpse at a world that is still vivid, even when in black and white, or faded. There is a draft that I’ve recently put together for it, including interviews and artworks from international artists in a fair mix of literature and articles of queerness created throughout the past decades and its evolving mannerism.

You have also done short films. Are you thinking of working on videography?

The Nest is a feature film I was working on for three years. It’s a semi autobiographical film where I’ve worked as screenwriter, director and producer. A one-man show featuring my dear friend and exceptional actor Ilias Sapountzakis. A young boy who had lost his parents, living in a suburban area of Greece, having to deal with a legacy of being the victim of a family that is now gone. 62 minutes of a pure, emotional battle one’s self and his own ghosts that premiered in Athens back in 2018. Along the shoots I’ve been working on, I am now very happy to announce I’ve finalized my first short film featuring Colby Keller as the narrator of a teenage queer affair among the ruins of a city.